Characteristics Of A Disciplined Parent

“Father’s, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."  ~ Ephesians 6:4

A disciplined parent is one who clearly communicates with their children.  Their children know what behaviors are appropriate, which ones are inappropriate.   Furthermore, their children know what the rewards are for good behavior and what the consequences are for bad behavior.  The disciplined parent focuses on encouragement and problem-solving.  Disciplined parenting does not use yelling or severe punishment and remains consistent in how they interact with their children.

20+ ways to know that you are a disciplined parent:

• You do not take having a bad day out on your children.  
• You explain to your child that you have had a bad day.  And apologize if you are short with her.
• You do not punish your child for being a child and doing something that is childish.
• You explain how she should act and you do so without embarrassing her.
• You do not embarrass your child in front of others.  If the child is misbehaving, you take her to a private place to discipline her.
• You make sure your child understands why she is being disciplined and you make sure she understands the correct way to act or behave.
• You always hug your child after you have disciplined her, tell her why she was disciplined and tell her that you love her and always will.
• You are not overly permissive.  You do not let her do everything she wants to do.  You explain to her why she cannot do certain things and why she can not participate in an activity.  You point out the differences between the “can do activities” and the “cannot do” activities.
• You do not set standards that are too high.  You talk with her to help her assess her own performance and figure out where she can improve.
• You do not push her to do something that you always wanted to do but couldn’t.
• You don’t pressure her with expectations that are too high.
• You do not ignore your own health.
• You do not bring up your child’s past mistakes.
  
• You supervise your child but are not a “helicopter parent.”
• You do not belittle her to get her to behave.
• You tell her that you love her every day.
• You do not blame your child.
• You don’t yell or scream at your child.
• You praise the behavior and not the child.
• You focus your disapproval on the behavior and not the child. 
• You use your hands for hugging and not for hitting.

If this list makes you feel like you are not a disciplined parent, take heart, it is never too late to become one.  Don’t be discouraged.  Remember, your child will pass through the stages of childhood quickly and you don’t want to miss any of them. So take a step back, examine your actions and decide what you need to do in order to become a disciplined parent and remember Matthew 7:8, “For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”  God wants you to be a disciplined parent and raise your children according to His word.  Ask Him to guide you in your parenting and He will.  He always keeps His promises.